Hangin with the brothers

I had a dream vision of me hanging out and chatting casually with Shadrach, Meshach, And Abednego. I knew they were brothers from a story in the Bible and we just were chatting away very casually about nothing that seemed noteworthy. At that time and after I woke up I could not remember the story of the 3 brothers so I looked it up the next morning (I had no Internet/Bible connection until morning at the hospital) I knew it was significant so I eagerly researched and found the story of the fiery furnace. How could I forget? God is reassuring me! He is good to me. The past couple weeks have been so physically difficult that I have wondered at times if I would make it through the night. God is sustaining me. He gives me everything I need. I am going through a fiery furnace, but my Lord is with me as He always has been.

Baptism

I had some people come to the house today to pray for me. I had never met them and they are visiting from the US (North Carolina). They had the gentillesse to come and pray for little ole me. God is good. I felt the Spirit and Gods presence the whole time they were here and had difficulty answering various questions as I was very weepy for some reason. I don't know why, as I do not usually have difficulty discussing my situation or answering questions. Today I guess I just had to "get it out" or something or perhaps I just was responding to the Presence. The couple prayed for me and my man to be baptized in the Holy Spirit. I have the Spirit but do not speak in tongues. Not for lack of asking or desire, it just has not happened for me. The Lord chooses to bless me in other ways so I cannot complain but one day I will speak in tongues... My man is now officially baptized in the Spirit! Tongues came immediately for him and I am so glad! He is pretty excited at the newfound spiritual experience and I am glad to have my man pray over me in the spirit language. I told him he will have to now pray in tongues over me until we get a breakthrough with my health. I am so excited for him and can't wait to see what else the Spirit has in store for him.

Hello again

I have taken a long break as I was having server issues and did not want to blog under those conditions. Quite a bit has happened since the last posting in every realm and I find myself in an unusual position. I just got released from the hospital afer 2.5 weeks of rest, tests, and treatment and am really happy to be home with my family. They ran an MRI of the brain last week and the results came back with more bad news. I have 2 lesions on the cerebellum area and perhaps a 3rd on the top area of my brain. This is not super shocking news as they discovered and treated 2 new lesions on/in the spine the week before. I have started IV chemo and next Monday will be the first completed cycle of Taxol which they tried in the very beginning (2.5 years ago) but discontinued abruptly because of nasty side effects. I am tolerating it well this time as the dose os lower but more frequent and they give me chemo pills that I take every day. The pills can perhaps reduce the size of the tumors in the brain and doc says and if that does not work they will do radiation therapy on my head. For the moment I am having mild neurological symptoms of my left leg being weak and they are giving me cortisone to help with that. The Lord has reminded me that the latest bad news is no different from all the other bad reports. We can choose how we are going to respond to it. I choose to eat from the tree of life and wait patiently for God to give me clarification or direction as to what He may want me to do. He has not told me anything so far, so I am just resting and seeking Him. I am curious how far things will go with this as I have given Him 100% right to use my life to glorify His name. I expect the unexpected. Thank you so much for the continued prayers of my spiritual family are vital to me and my family. I am feeling pretty good the past few days all the way around and I thank my Father and the body of Christ for the life that comes by His love. Stay tuned for some interesting days to come!!!

Word/vision from a friend

A friend from church shared a vision she had of me:
The Lord removed from you a cardigan with bits on it. Jesus put on you a beauty cape that covers over the body but shows off the beauty of your face. Jesus tells you how beautiful you are! To look in the mirrors all around you and see Jesus smiling at you, approving of you."you are my beautiful one Chris. I desire to gaze on your face and see how you have grown in your love for Me!"

New growths, new chemo

I have been very busy the past few weeks. My family and I had the opportunity to go back to the US and visit friends and family for 2.5 weeks. This was a great time and I even got prayed over by a seer who told me my time here on earth is not over, which is music to my ears these days. During the visit I sensed the blessing of God on the US land since the airplane landed very strongly. During the entire visit I was just tickled pink over the feeling of His presence and how He has blessed this country in every way. Other than this, I have not felt anything special or had any dreams or visions in quite some time. Absolutely nothing. I guess this is some kind of wilderness experience. Since my return, I went directly from the airport to the hospital and spent the next 3 days there doing loads of tests, exams, and scans. They found 700ml of fluid in my lung space that they drained also and ran tests on that also. They have started me on yet another new chemo and found several new tumors and growing older ones. New ones are between the lungs on the lymph there and each ovary has one too. I am really being tested and even had a woman today try to tell me God has nothing to do with it. "You just have to fight hard like me and you will beat it by yourself, God has nothing to do with it" I was so upset I could not say anything, but thought that is easy for someone to say who had never done chemo (she had not) she complained about how her hormone pills made her take a nap during the day. I told her I spent most of the week in bed and she ought to be grateful to never have had to do chemo. Fight harder, I would have liked to fight her but the love of God and my generalized fatigue prevent me from doing it physically.

Baby

OK, I am going to out on a limb here by actually posting this. I saw my cousins' unborn baby while I was sleeping last night. I was having an unrelated casual dream and it ended abruptly, then I saw her sleeping on her side. She had very dark hair and lots of it. Super cute! I just knew it was my cousins'. I was so excited I woke up and had a hard time going back to sleep. Beautiful baby girl! The thing is, my cousin is due to give birth soon and does not even know the sex of the baby. I am very curious to see what happens!

My calling...

I was told last night by The Father that He has a place for me, but we are waiting for it to open up. When it opens up, He will move me into my destiny. He did not use the word ministry, but that is the impression that I had. My calling. I am very grateful that He told me this as I had not been asking about this sort of thing these days, but He still wanted to tell me about it. I wonder what it is...

Her-2 Receptors!

My doctor contacted me today via email to give me the final results of the assorted biopsies from 10 or so days ago. They found no tumor activity in the bone and by complete surprise they found HER-2 receptors! This is really great news as all the other tests suggested that the tumors had not changed and the only way of fighting it would to be keep trying different chemotherapy. Now that they found HER-2 receptors they can give me a drug (herceptin) in combination with the chemo that will work to reduce the size of the tumors more effectively. This is really great news!

Visit from the Father

Through a series of events and leadings, God has been speaking to me softly concerning blood covenants. I've been reading an ebook over the past 2 days and then get pulled away and come back to continue when I get quiet time. To make a long story short, I sensed the presence of The Father come into the room and knew I had to go to my prayer closet and meet with Him. He wanted to talk immediately concerning some things I did not even realize were causing a cloud over my spiritual life. He showed me this night of some things I had gone my entire life thinking were OK, not a big deal, but in fact were a big deal. Things that have hindered me and kept me in chains simply because of my ignorance. I had to repent, I felt so foolish, I was so surprised by my ignorance. I have gone my entire life having essentially "no regrets" because I have always kept a certain moral code and considered myself to be a "really good person" in general. If you were to ask me a week ago if there were some things I needed to repent of that had not been dealt with, I would have said "absolutely not, everything is great" My prayer has been for several months now to draw those negative things that may be hiding into the light. For Him to expose those things so that I can progress in Him and come to be closer to Him. He hears my prayer and made a personal visitation to show me. I am soooo grateful to be able to repent and thus go into a deeper relation with my Father God, but what a shocker to see something that you had always thought of as harmless for what it really is. The wages of sin is death, and I am so thankful for my Father who loves me so much as to discipline me and draw me into the light. It is not the first time I sensed the spirit of the Father. This time was great. I knew I was in for a reprimand but I was so excited to feel the Fathers presence and knew this is a pivotal moment for me. I took the opportunity of being in His presence to first off repent and apologize for my ignorance and how I had been so deceived for so long. Then I thanked and praised Him for all He is doing for me and for taking time out to show me these sins that have created a wedge between us and prevented us from being as close as we would like. I thanked Him to come and visit me! He did not linger very long regrettably but I suppose that the work that was to be done was accomplished. I love His presence. I hope He comes to visit again soon.

Cancer update

I saw both of my doctors today concerning several things. They had some discouraging news. What started out as a very small irritation and swelling has grown the past month to be what the doctors are 99% sure is a tumor. It has taken over 3/4 of my left breast and some of the skin surrounding in the past month and the doctors said it is way beyond surgery. They will start me on a new chemo on Monday with hopes to control it. They also noticed on my last blood test that my white cell counts are decreasing for unknown reasons. They will biopsy the bone marrow to see if there are cancer cells there. I will have a PET scan and many other tests this week to check for unseen cancers that might be anywhere else in the body. The lymph on the left side of my neck is starting to swell the past few days and my sternum is causing some mild discomfort and I have been very tired. I lost 1 kilo. I weigh 51 which is a bummer because I have been eating very well the past few weeks. Once again I reminded the doctors that God will restore me and I think I will take a picture of their faces next time I say this so everyone can have a good laugh when this goes into remission. Please continue to pray for me and my family during this challenging time. Thank you!

Latent

Had a soft vision of someone writing on a chalkboard the word "latent". It is defined as:

1. Present or potential but not evident or active: latent talent.

2. Pathology In a dormant or hidden stage: a latent infection.

3. Biology Undeveloped but capable of normal growth under the proper conditions: a latent bud.

4. Psychology Present and accessible in the unconscious mind but not consciously expressed.

Jonathan Couper

A prophet named Jonathan Couper came over from England to our church and ministered to the sick. He told me "they will say you are in remission". He also said something about recovery from an accident. I am not sure what that means as I have not been in any accidents in a really long time.

Submarine

Dream where I was training for a job on a small submarine. My old boss was there instructing me every step of the way. We were underwater but could breathe without scuba equipment and I watched fish swim by as if they were floating in the air. He was giving me extremely detailed instruction on how to do everything and made it clear that I would not be able to operate the sub without following every instruction. We were parking the sub and preparing for the water to flood in and I knew I would be able to breathe the water without effort. I knew the sub must be flooded completely before we could leave it and go up, but I also knew that each instruction of the boss must be followed in detail for success. This is not the first time I have seen fish swimming in the air in my dreams. They pop up at various times in places like a fish tank with no borders. I can reach around the fish or they can swim around me without getting "wet". Every time I see them in my dreams they bring such a curious joy.

Fireworks and plane crash

I had a dream of a large gathering of people in the US. It was nighttime and many people were in the street and traffic was bad. People were shooting off fireworks, not huge ones but nonetheless impressive and everyone was watching them and saying "Ahhhh!". Then I see something that looks like fireworks going by in the sky very high up. It is orange, moving slowly and upon closer inspection I see it is an airplane but the nose of the airplane is glowing orange and red like fire and the wings also but less bright. It is going by and then the plane starts to rotate to the left and then to the right as it is going forward and I think to myself that this is not normal. Everyone is looking at the fireworks and then the plane comes down and crashes perhaps a few miles from where I was standing without making too much noise. I had left Margot at the babysitters house which was in the direction of the crash and thought to myself that I need to go get her ASAP. I knew she would be alright and did not freak out but tried to think of the best route to take. I woke feeling concerned and prayed for God's protection and intercession in this situation.

Flower stars

I heard a song in my sleep and the words went like this: "To each one of us, God has given to us a calling. Larger than life!" I woke myself up this night saying aloud "Thank you Lord that we are all stars in your kingdom" I then had a dream and saw many different colored flowers all lined up one next to the other and they looked shiny like plastic with 5 short petals on them. The flowers looked like colored stars. I had a soft vision of a tan piece of paper with brown writing on it. At the top it was writing "Come" and there was a paragraph written below it but it was too small to read from where I was at.

Healing!

The Little One fell down today while running down a long metal ramp that that connects the church with the sidewalk. She landed on her face. We went over to her to assess the damage as she screamed and we saw her nose starting to swell and turn blue. We were debating on going to the hospital but she only complained about a minuscule scratch on her hand. By the time we got home there was only a small scratch on the bridge of her nose. I believe God healed and protected her. That nose looked like bad business on the ramp but the transformation was taking place in the car. By the time we got home there was nothing bigger than the 1/2 inch what looks to be a burn on her forehead. Praise God!

House hunting

Had a casual dream that I was looking to rent/own a house. I looked around at several traditional homes and ended up stumbling on something unusual. There was a high rise that had a locked door but it happened to be open so I walked in. I was going to try to sell books to the people there but realized that the books were in English and the inhabitants of the building spoke French, so I started to putter around and noticed what looked like an old gym locker. I opened it and stepped into it as there was a room inside that was hidden. I closed the door and realized that I could stay hidden here for a very long time as no-one knew this room existed. I saw the window was open and fresh air was coming through the blinds. I noticed the length was perfect to hang my hammock and the furnishings were very cozy. There were books there and I saw one of them was on Astronomy. "This would be perfect if it had a bathroom" I thought to myself.

Train station

Dream of train station at evening time about 5:30pm. I was there frantically looking for my luggage which was supposed to have been deposited there by my childhood friend Brenda the night before. I searched half the length of the station which was divided into 2 with a movie theater in the middle. My friend Brenda was supposed to meet me as well to take the train but she was nowhere in sight. I asked a woman worker if the train had arrived yet and she said that the train was 10 minutes late and she would tell me when it arrived. I could not wait next to the woman as I still did not find my luggage. I hesitated to go to the other side of the station as that involved going through the complicated stairwell that connects them and it is out of sight of the incoming trains. I decided to do it quickly as I had 10 extra minutes and I found a shortcut that went through the theaters and poked my head in to see if Brenda was there. There was an old movie playing and The Old Man was there and tried to flag me down but I did not have time. I hurriedly made it out to the other side of the station after passing 2 bodyguards protecting a door. When I got there I realized there was not enough time to search this side and went back through the shortcut to the other side and saw my luggage waiting for me in a very obvious place. I took my luggage and resolved to take the train without my friend. I saw a train come in but it was just tankers so I asked the worker again when it will arrive. She did not answer. I noted to myself that there were 2 more trains after this one in case I miss it. End of dream.

Tall Horse

I had another horse dream last night. I was grooming a group of 20-30 horses and getting them ready for something. When I finished I jumped on one of them and when I went to put my feet in the stirrups I noticed that the horse had grown REALLY tall to the point that the other horses looked the size of house cats at the feet of my horse. I noticed the reins tucked neatly in the saddle and took them into my hands, and then the horse started to move. I was afraid at first and worried that the horse might start to crush the others or start to freak out. Instead the horse was very gentle and conscious of the others and carefully stepping over them and making her way to the front of the other horses and the dream ended.

Amy = pregnant with purpose

I had a dream that my sister is pregnant, in the early stages. I understood that this means she will be coming into what she was created to do very soon. She is on the edge of doing something great, her destiny. She is "pregnant with purpose".

Word from The Father

Was given a written word from someone at the church who has been praying and fasting for my family. I was contacted by this person via telephone the day before and she explained that she was praying while vacuuming the house and the message started coming to her. We had never met before today but God is good that way. Here is the word she transcribed from The Father:

I am the Lord Your God, creator of the universe, the lover of your soul. I am the Heavenly Father who loves you so much. I am here, I am there, right by your side. I will never leave you or forsake you, I will always be there. Though the mountains may part and the hills be removed the covenant of my peace will not leave you. I am the Lord who brought my people out of Egypt. I am who I am. I am the beginning and the end, the Alpha and the Omega, the Aleph Tav. In me and through me all things shall come to pass according to my will and purposes. I am the only true God. All my ways are just. Trust in me my child with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge me and I direct your path. Fear not and I am with you. All the time. I wear the victors crown. I have triumphed over sin and death at that cross. My blood has been shed, once and for all. I am the living God who loves you so much. You are precious to me. I have formed you in the innermost secret place of your mothers womb. You are the apple of my eye. I love you, child, come to me, you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Enter into my rest. Come, come, crawl under the shadow of my wings and sing for joy, my beautiful child. I love you. You are mine.

Naked

I heard in my sleep "We are naked but soon we will not be". I felt impressed that we will soon be clothed in His glory like in the garden of Eden.