Psalm 91

I heard Psalm 91 verses 1 and 2 during my prayer time:
He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High Shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust."

Psalm 91 goes on to say:
³ Surely He shall deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from the perilous pestilence.
⁴ He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler.
⁵ You shall not be afraid of the terror by night,
Nor of the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ Nor of the pestilence that walks in darkness,
Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
And ten thousand at your right hand;
But it shall not come near you.
⁸ Only with your eyes shall you look,
And see the reward of the wicked.

⁹ Because you have made the LORD, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
¹⁰ No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
¹¹ For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways.
¹² In their hands they shall bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.
¹³ You shall tread upon the lion and the cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you shall trample underfoot.

¹⁴ “Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him on high, because he has known My name.
¹⁵ He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.”

Toxic Thoughts

I have redoubled my efforts to control negative thinking after watching this:
http://www.sidroth.org/site/News2?abbr=tv_&page=NewsArticle&id=9555&news_iv_ctrl=1141

Korean missionaries

My husband asked to pray with me this morning. This is not like him. We had a wonderful time of prayer and sharing when the doorbell rang. It was 2 Korean missionaries to the Church of God and my man let them in as their timing was epic. They began to rabble on about "God the mother" (you can google it if you are curious) and waste our time. I used it as an opportunity to minister to them but remarked how the enemy can use seemingly good people to distract us from what God wants to do. Their timing was absolutely perfect but my husband and I managed to continue our conversation later in the evening. He will retire and spend all of his time at home. He feels that God wants him do do something for me, so he will stay at home indefinitely. I noticed that my sternum has decreased a little in size and pain, and this is a good thing. Could be a sign!

California

Returned from a weekend away in the Ardennes with our church. One of the first people I met upon arrival was a native Californian of whom had underwent treatment for breast cancer as well. She is a missionary who runs a house of prayer here in Belgium and we prayed together with some other prayer warriors today concerning my situation. Upon their suggestion I re-repented of past drug abuse, witchcraft, buddhism dabbling, and rebellion in general just to cover the bases. She felt impressed that I need to cut ties with people from the past regarding the drug abuse and I stated that my "partner in crime" from those days committed suicide years ago and could not think of what the tie might be. After we finished praying, I think I might now know what she was referring to... I am not sure how to fix this. California told me I am gifted in the prophetic, so I am asking God to give me direction in this area and to begin to develop this skill. She also told me that the devil is really trying to kill me. I laughed when she told me this, as she does not know the half of it (or maybe she does ;). The enemy has tried to take my life at so many times I lost count: appendicitis/peritonitis, teen boyfriend wanting romantic suicide pact (he eventually did it alone), 2 IV cocaine overdoses (my heart actually stopped the last one), abdominal ectopic pregnancy, more than a dozen car crashes, metastatic cancer, and I'm sure I forgot something... Mom has some grays but fortunately God has always protected me. I would not be here if it were not for His grace and protection. I am blessed to have run into California and look forward to what I hope will be a good friendship.

Watercolors

Weekend away with the church. I spent the afternoon in a watercolors workshop headed up by a professor who is a member of the group and a gifted artist. I was an hour late to the class, but somehow I was right on time. I always had no luck with my few sad attempts at watercolors and welcomed any pointers. Ends up you cant use drawing paper to do watercolors on... hmm that might explain a few things. I have not picked up a paintbrush in probably 20 years and I got a good chewing out after convincing him I did not go to art school for not using my God given talent. I think he is right and I am asking God to work with me on this. It may sound dumb, but what can you do with artistic talent? I don't get a high off of showing off my artistic skills and do not see the practical use for it apart from keeping kids entertained with games like I will draw anything difficult really fast and pretty good. When I was a kid, I enjoyed painting and drawing. I guess I need to get back to that when I have some spare time and maybe I will discover something about myself. God help me. Here is my apple.

Snow?

Doing tabernacles study. The Holy of Holies is perfectly square (see July 6 entry). Prayed for revelation and was told of snow (out of season?) in my sleep.

Hope

A renewed sense of hope and joy concerning my situation. A prophet told me as a teenager that I was called to be a healer and now I find myself 39 years old wife and mother battling stage 4 breast cancer and no healing ministry that I know of, but I think that is about to change. God is using this dismal situation to refine me and draw me closer to Him and I thank Him for it. Since my diagnosis He has been downloading many secrets, giving me dreams, and mending my broken heart and I feel so blessed and thankful. I have heard the word resurrection many times in my spirit the past few weeks and feel confident that God will carry, rescue, and deliver me out of my current physical struggles. I thank God for my current trials, know that fear has been conquered, and look forward to the deliverance and soon to be seen miracles that will draw many to Jesus. There is an anticipation in the air...

Palpable Word

In my sleep I was told that God's Word is tangible and palpable. Not referring to the Bible, but His actual words in any sense. My logic does not quite understand this but within myself I know this to be true.

Therapy

I went this morning to my orthopedist of whom does an unusual sort of physical therapy. After several visits in the past she eventually confided in me that she asks for Jesus to use her hands in particularly tough cases like mine. She does not massage or manipulate anything, she just puts her hands on my feet, neck, and shoulders (not at the same time). No pressing or anything but it works. Sometimes she will ask "Do you feel that?" and smile. Yes, I do. Today I felt a distinct tapping sensation on the middle underside of my great toe on my right foot. She said that is His hands doing the work on the region that effects the hypothalamus. I felt it again for a few seconds when I got home. I feel better today.