More forgiveness

The pastor and his wife came over for lunch and to chat. They kinda picked up with the theme of forgiveness and gave me many examples of healing as it relates to forgiveness. I honestly feel like that issue was dealt with but after Saturday I know there could be other issues hiding in the shadows. We prayed together and had a nice afternoon getting to know each other. I called Amy tonight and asked her forgiveness for calling her an unmerited very ugly name and for wasting all these years when we should have been closer. I regret that we were not closer as kids and that just sort of ran into our adult life, we just have never been close and this is something I think we both wished could have been different. I kind of expected that I might experience a sense of relief or "feel lighter" but I basically feel the same. I am just looking forward to visiting her hopefully in the Spring so we can hopefully make up for some lost time and enjoy each others company. I don't know why I don't have the lighter sensation; My only guesstimate is that I had already walked through all the steps and had planned it out so meticulously that I in essence had felt like it was already done. The only thing missing was to actually do it and perhaps that is why the church group said that it was urgent to do it now, like this Amy will be on the same "page" as me and we will both be over it completely when we see each other. Next on the agenda... I feel led to write an email to The Old Man.