Do you want to do this by yourself?

I was scheduled to do chemo today and last night I had pretty much decided I was pretty much going to skip it unless God told me otherwise. I went to bed still with no contradicting word so I did not set the alarm to get up. In the middle of the night my dreams were interrupted by a voice that asked me something to the effect of: "Did you want to do this by yourself?" I woke immediately after but dismissed the event thinking that perhaps it was a harassing spirit and went back to sleep where I was definitely harassed by the enemy just after going back to sleep. I woke in the morning tending to the normal routine but taking note that my hospital appointment had already passed. I began to have second thoughts. This is exactly what I did not want. I prayed, thought hard, and got dressed 5 minutes later. I cannot have second thoughts. Upon reflection, I realized that it was the Lord that woke me with the one liner that I was too groggy/thickheaded to acknowledge. "No Lord, I do not want to do this by myself! Forgive me. I will go get my blood tested and You will determine whether or not I get the chemo... as usual." I feel better now, but this morning was a humbling reminder of not to let personal preferences get in the way of His work. This is Gods' work, not mine. Who am I to form an opinion on the subject of my health care? He created the heavens and universe, of course He knows the best thing to do. I should have known He would wait to give me instruction for the last minute. He likes to see if we are open for spontaneity!