Word/vision from a friend

A friend from church shared a vision she had of me:
The Lord removed from you a cardigan with bits on it. Jesus put on you a beauty cape that covers over the body but shows off the beauty of your face. Jesus tells you how beautiful you are! To look in the mirrors all around you and see Jesus smiling at you, approving of you."you are my beautiful one Chris. I desire to gaze on your face and see how you have grown in your love for Me!"

New growths, new chemo

I have been very busy the past few weeks. My family and I had the opportunity to go back to the US and visit friends and family for 2.5 weeks. This was a great time and I even got prayed over by a seer who told me my time here on earth is not over, which is music to my ears these days. During the visit I sensed the blessing of God on the US land since the airplane landed very strongly. During the entire visit I was just tickled pink over the feeling of His presence and how He has blessed this country in every way. Other than this, I have not felt anything special or had any dreams or visions in quite some time. Absolutely nothing. I guess this is some kind of wilderness experience. Since my return, I went directly from the airport to the hospital and spent the next 3 days there doing loads of tests, exams, and scans. They found 700ml of fluid in my lung space that they drained also and ran tests on that also. They have started me on yet another new chemo and found several new tumors and growing older ones. New ones are between the lungs on the lymph there and each ovary has one too. I am really being tested and even had a woman today try to tell me God has nothing to do with it. "You just have to fight hard like me and you will beat it by yourself, God has nothing to do with it" I was so upset I could not say anything, but thought that is easy for someone to say who had never done chemo (she had not) she complained about how her hormone pills made her take a nap during the day. I told her I spent most of the week in bed and she ought to be grateful to never have had to do chemo. Fight harder, I would have liked to fight her but the love of God and my generalized fatigue prevent me from doing it physically.

Baby

OK, I am going to out on a limb here by actually posting this. I saw my cousins' unborn baby while I was sleeping last night. I was having an unrelated casual dream and it ended abruptly, then I saw her sleeping on her side. She had very dark hair and lots of it. Super cute! I just knew it was my cousins'. I was so excited I woke up and had a hard time going back to sleep. Beautiful baby girl! The thing is, my cousin is due to give birth soon and does not even know the sex of the baby. I am very curious to see what happens!

My calling...

I was told last night by The Father that He has a place for me, but we are waiting for it to open up. When it opens up, He will move me into my destiny. He did not use the word ministry, but that is the impression that I had. My calling. I am very grateful that He told me this as I had not been asking about this sort of thing these days, but He still wanted to tell me about it. I wonder what it is...

Her-2 Receptors!

My doctor contacted me today via email to give me the final results of the assorted biopsies from 10 or so days ago. They found no tumor activity in the bone and by complete surprise they found HER-2 receptors! This is really great news as all the other tests suggested that the tumors had not changed and the only way of fighting it would to be keep trying different chemotherapy. Now that they found HER-2 receptors they can give me a drug (herceptin) in combination with the chemo that will work to reduce the size of the tumors more effectively. This is really great news!

Visit from the Father

Through a series of events and leadings, God has been speaking to me softly concerning blood covenants. I've been reading an ebook over the past 2 days and then get pulled away and come back to continue when I get quiet time. To make a long story short, I sensed the presence of The Father come into the room and knew I had to go to my prayer closet and meet with Him. He wanted to talk immediately concerning some things I did not even realize were causing a cloud over my spiritual life. He showed me this night of some things I had gone my entire life thinking were OK, not a big deal, but in fact were a big deal. Things that have hindered me and kept me in chains simply because of my ignorance. I had to repent, I felt so foolish, I was so surprised by my ignorance. I have gone my entire life having essentially "no regrets" because I have always kept a certain moral code and considered myself to be a "really good person" in general. If you were to ask me a week ago if there were some things I needed to repent of that had not been dealt with, I would have said "absolutely not, everything is great" My prayer has been for several months now to draw those negative things that may be hiding into the light. For Him to expose those things so that I can progress in Him and come to be closer to Him. He hears my prayer and made a personal visitation to show me. I am soooo grateful to be able to repent and thus go into a deeper relation with my Father God, but what a shocker to see something that you had always thought of as harmless for what it really is. The wages of sin is death, and I am so thankful for my Father who loves me so much as to discipline me and draw me into the light. It is not the first time I sensed the spirit of the Father. This time was great. I knew I was in for a reprimand but I was so excited to feel the Fathers presence and knew this is a pivotal moment for me. I took the opportunity of being in His presence to first off repent and apologize for my ignorance and how I had been so deceived for so long. Then I thanked and praised Him for all He is doing for me and for taking time out to show me these sins that have created a wedge between us and prevented us from being as close as we would like. I thanked Him to come and visit me! He did not linger very long regrettably but I suppose that the work that was to be done was accomplished. I love His presence. I hope He comes to visit again soon.

Cancer update

I saw both of my doctors today concerning several things. They had some discouraging news. What started out as a very small irritation and swelling has grown the past month to be what the doctors are 99% sure is a tumor. It has taken over 3/4 of my left breast and some of the skin surrounding in the past month and the doctors said it is way beyond surgery. They will start me on a new chemo on Monday with hopes to control it. They also noticed on my last blood test that my white cell counts are decreasing for unknown reasons. They will biopsy the bone marrow to see if there are cancer cells there. I will have a PET scan and many other tests this week to check for unseen cancers that might be anywhere else in the body. The lymph on the left side of my neck is starting to swell the past few days and my sternum is causing some mild discomfort and I have been very tired. I lost 1 kilo. I weigh 51 which is a bummer because I have been eating very well the past few weeks. Once again I reminded the doctors that God will restore me and I think I will take a picture of their faces next time I say this so everyone can have a good laugh when this goes into remission. Please continue to pray for me and my family during this challenging time. Thank you!